It's traditional

I love Xmas.  Specifically the version of Xmas that’s divorced from religion and comprised instead of colorful lights, glittery garments, cookies, presents, and Santa.  So much Santa.  I love it so much because this is the version of Xmas I created (in collaboration with people I love).  It includes all the things I enjoy and all the things that lift others up and all the things that create fun and magic in the dark and cold wintry season.

It wasn't always this way, but this is what I made it.  Many years ago I used to do Christmas the modern-traditional way, where everyone was stressed-out and nobody had any fun.  Then one year I decided I didn't want to do that anymore.  I sat down with my family and asked to scrap everything and build our December holiday from scratch.  So that's what we did, including only those traditions that contributed to a relaxed and loving day of being together and abandoning everything else.

It was magical.  And it changed my perspective on tradition altogether.  Years later when I planned my wedding I did essentially the same thing.  I did not try to do all the traditional things.  Instead I included all the things that were fun and meaningful to me and my spouse-to-be, and we let everything else go.  As soon as something turned into a pile of stress because we were doing what we thought we should be doing, we axed it from the agenda.

In a similar way, my holiday celebrations have continued to evolve over time.  Last year the Xmas season was a challenge because I couldn’t do all the things I like to do with my usual holiday celebration buddies.  Covid had been around all year, so we knew going into it we were headed for a holiday season like no other.  So I doubled-down on my own participation in Xmas.  I wanted Xmas cookies, so I baked and decorated cookies.  I wanted Xmas crafts, so I Xmas crafted.  I wanted to watch Xmas movies and listen to Xmas music and see Xmas lights.  So I played Xmas movies and Xmas music and wandered around the neighborhood to see all the lights.

It was also magical.  Even though it wasn't the same.  This year still isn't the same, even though we can do a few more things with a few more people thanks to the vaccine and booster.  Ultimately it doesn't matter if I can never repeat a holiday experience from the Before Time.  Something is only a tradition because we keep doing it.  So do whatever you want with your holidays and change it as often as it pleases you.

Last year I didn't want to put away all the lights and stop gathering (over zoom) at the end of December because we still had one more cold, dark, lonely month of winter to get through.  So I invented a-whole-nother holiday.  I wanted to celebrate creation, creativity, and light.  I also wanted to give everyone more excuses to be together in whatever ways we could during Covid.  So JanCRAM was born.

At the start of January everyone picked a craft or a project or a new skill they wanted to learn (individually or in a group).  Folks met a few times a week to work on our chosen craft.  The whole month of January CRaft Art Making (JanCRAM) culminated in a celebratory Craftstravaganza.  Everyone who wanted to shared what they had been working on and revealed their (finished or unfinished) final product.  It was magical.

I love celebrating all the holidays.  I love celebrating just about anything important to me or the humans I love.  I am a celebrator.  I am an enthusiast.  I want to encourage the people around me in their endeavors and efforts.  I want to celebrate successes and growth.  I want to affirm everyone in their journey to becoming more fully themselves.

The point of life is to live it.  Fully and deeply and with your soul and heart still intact at the end.  There are plenty of dehumanizing traditions we follow every day: racism, sexism, capitalism.  They only continue to exist because we continue to participate in them.  Why not just do something different in how you move through the world?  It might just be one tiny change for you, but do it long enough and it becomes tradition.

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Information and Inspiration

• YouTube: David Sedaris reads 6 To 8 Black Men
• i iz cat: The Christmas Cat of Iceland - a giant terrifying cat that gobbles up children if they're bad
• ChefIn: These 6 Christmas Traditions Are Actually Pagan Customs
• ​The Good Trade: The Power Of Tradition And How To Create New Holiday Traditions Of Your Own
• LGBTQ Nation: Revolting “hurt feelings” employee complaint form for “queers” & “sissies” sparks outrage online
• Center for Racial Justice in Education: A Racial Justice Guide to the Winter Holiday Season for Educators and Families