Haha we exist!

Last week was hard.  This whole month has been hard.  I was busy enough at the end of the year between holidays, house guests, and work deadlines that I set the impending political doom slightly off to the side.  Then the year turned and I was like "holy shit, that's this month!!!"  Enter all the dread and a whole lot of time spent on extra doses of self-care and community organizing.

The eve of the inauguration my partner and I hosted our monthly queer contra dance.  I wore a political statement shirt and I encouraged anyone else who wanted to join me to attend dressed in solidarity.  It was an evening of queer joy and community.  On Monday I started my day with a martial arts class, had breakfast and then took a nap.  In the afternoon I had a discussion with a friend about community care and healing and then made dinner with friends.  I completely ignored all news and social media.  It was all exactly the antidote I needed for what was going on in Washington.

Then on Tuesday I went to trusted sources on the internet for a curated rundown of what madness had occurred the day before.  This is when I learned that it is now the policy of the US government that I don't exist.  That might have been upsetting, but instead I just thought "Well joke's on you assholes because I exist.  Haha I exist!"

I have turned some kind of corner in my personal emotional experience of all this garbage.  Just by existing I upset the small, closed, straightforward worldview they want to impose on all of us.  Their plan to re-write reality to match their twisted, cruel view of what should be the world order will only work if we all agree to go along with it.  And I don't agree.  In fact, I can't agree... because I exist!  haha

I feel an almost overwhelming amount of joy that my very existence as a queer, nonbinary human is ruining their plan.  It's nice to have a joyful fuck-you in my pocket instead of just an angry or obstinate one.  Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of rage and disobedience swimming around my internal emotion ocean, but I wanted to share this one joyful framing in case anyone else is exhausted and/or overwhelmed and/or doesn't want to just be angry all the time.

So in case you need to hear it:  You exist!  As queer people, as women, as immigrants, as poor folks, as people of color, as trans folks, as freaks, as people without indoor housing, and as anyone else who doesn't conform to the box assigned by whoever is currently making up the rules of polite society.  And you all matter.  Your existence is a grain of sand in the eye of the people who would rather you disappear.  Please continue to thrive.

Love and solidarity.

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Information and Inspiration

• Contra Remix: Events
• gabriela Portland: About the organization and their work
• CNN: Trump two-gender edict will upend ‘X’ identity on passports
• TikTok: Reviewing The 2025 Presidential Inauguration 
• California History-Social Science Project: Teach the History of LGBTQ+ Joy
• TeePublic: haha I exist (against official government policy)